IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WERE MISTAKES
or "why god might not be perfect"
     by The Lizard King

"Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes 
explicable"
	-H.L. Mencken

	One of the most regurgitated arguments for "Why God is great 
and we should get on our knees and worship God" is the so-called fact
that God is perfect. This argument has been recycled time after time
and it was bound to happen. Someone was going to question what they 
were being fed. And once again, the person stupid enough to do that is 
me.
	Let's start at the beginning. God, this enlightened being of 
the heavens was here at the beginning of time, there was nothing before
it. As God's first act, he (for those feminists in the audience, I'm 
just going to call God a he for right now) creates angles. For what 
purpose were these angels created? To worship Him. Wait, now God has an 
ego problem. Surely a being of such perfection would not have an ego. 
Now not only were these angels created out of one of the seven deadly
sins, I am referring to pride, but they were not all that loyal. The 
angel known as Lucifer began to think for himself and stopped worshipping
God. For this act of blaitent rebellion, the one known as Lucifer became
what is commonly known as the devil. Supposedly, the devil is the source
of all evil. So far, the divine being created an imperfect race out of 
his own self-loving, let one of these manifestations break away from his 
grasp and ultimately created pure evil. So far, I am not impressed.
	It is still a question in the minds of the faithful as to who 
wrote the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, God was claimed perfect. 
In this book, God was described, as being ill tempered, wrathful, 
relentless, and even jealous. He sent people on traumatizing acts that could
have easily driven the strongest humans mad, as a test of their faith. 
Ordering men to sacrifice their sons and forcing them down the throat of a 
whale are two that come to mind. If these malevolent acts were performed by
a human being, they would have been thrown in either penitentiary or an 
asylum. Perfect? I don't think so. Time passes and the New Testament is 
written. In this version of the Holy Scriptures, God is described as being 
gentle, kind, wise, and remorseful. In both of these texts, God is described 
as being perfect, and both texts are claimed to be true. How is it that God 
underwent such an inconceivable personality shift and still attained his 
state of being perfect? I'll give you a hint: HE DIDN'T!
	Now the present. Between the beginning of time and the present, 
humans have undergone countless malignant acts. The infamous Adolph Hitler 
ordered the inhumane execution of six million people, and inspired the prejudice
butchering of countless others. Joseph Stalin massacred even more. Countless
other monsters roamed the earth, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, 
Jerry Springer, how could you possible justify God's perfection when these 
monstrosities were created? 
	Let's face it. There is magic in this world, and I won't deny that. Some
of it probably comes from what we call God. I won't deny that either. But God 
is not perfect, in any way shape or form. We can't depend fully on a deity that 
let these events occur. We can't lean on a faulty crutch. Some people have to 
hide in their deity from the vertigo of realization that our destinies are our
own, to avoid the terror of their ultimate mortality, to hide from the weight of 
responsibility that comes when we can no longer count on Daddy to bail us out, 
and that's just fine. But I cannot bring myself to do this because, sorry God, 
no one is perfect.