GOD, TELEVANGELSTS, AND JERRY SPRINGER or whatever happened to religion by The Lizard King NOTE FROM THE LIZARD KING: This speech was a participant in the 1998-1999 IASAS (International Association of Southeast Asian Schools) Cultural Convention, in the Orgigional Oratory category. The world needs help. If a person like Saddam Hussein is still in power, we need help. If mass murder John Wayne Gacy can make money off of selling deranged art, we need help. If Ross Perot is still running for president, the world needs help. But the answer is right in front of us. It's staring us in the face, and always has been. Religion. The mere concept of religion has moved nations. It has had the power to end the bloodshed and carnage that is brought on by war. And all it has ever asked in return is that we believe. But religion is no longer accomplishing these feats. It is, in fact, doing the opposite. What has religion become these days? Why can it not hold the magic that used to be present in our hearts? Let me tell you. First, religion is old. It's hard to believe. Almost too old for the children of the new millennium to accept. Religious beliefs have become hollow and meaningless to the newest generations of children and adults. Let me start with the source and almost basis of all major religions. God. The deity is claimed perfect. Now, I would love to lie back and accept that there is a perfect being watching us from above. But then, I got to thinking. The angels, the harps, the chorus lines, praise the lord ...I hate to say it but God looks very insecure to me. So much for perfection. Besides, if God was perfect, how could he account for me? Religion hasn't helped us with evil either. Adolph Hitler, the racist, fascist dictator. Ted Bundy, the lustful serial killer. Jerry Springer, the scum of the earth as seen on public television. How could religion have lived up to its full potential if purely evil people have roamed this earth? But this isn't the worst. Religion is associated with cults. Marsh Herf Applewhite, leader of the Heaven's Gate Cult claimed that his purpose on earth was the same of that as Christ, and killed 39 in a mass suicide. Is this what religion expects? Rev. Moon of the infamous Moonies claims that the previous Jesus was weak, for he never convinced his pupils to die in his place or kill on his command. Jim Jones, leader of the People's Temple, thought he was the reincarnate of Jesus. Jim Jones killed nine hundred people in a mass suicide through the use of kool-aid. Is this what religion expects? Aum Shinrikyo, responsible for the gassing of the Tokyo subway, not only claims the money of his "students" but also claims their identity and offers horrible physical abuse when these victims go against his beliefs. Is this what religion expects? Of course, not all cults are delusional. Some are merely corrupt. Scientologists offer a free IQ test and, let me tell you, this is the only free thing you will ever get from them. They convince people that they need Scientology and get them addicted to grossly overpriced courses. Most followers are broke, or very close to it. Is this what religion expects? However religion is defined by another problem. TV evangelists are frauds who claim to be ambassadors of religion. I turn on my television set and I see a stark mad preacher claiming that he has spoken to God and to call his number to contribute unthinkable amounts of money to him. If these corrupt lunatics had ever spoken to God, I believe he would have promised more than a five-minute informercial on public television. The worst of these, namely Jim Baker, was arrested for fraud on the basis that the money he was receiving wasn't being used for the most spiritual purposes. He is in prison and has published a book, accurately entitled "I Was Wrong". This happens to be the only conclusion he has ever reached that the world is inclined to believe. Is this what religion expects? Religion is also being defined by Fundamentalists. The Christian Right is preaching that America should be a Christian nation, and non- Christians should be suppressed. The Indian political party, the BJP, is a fundamentalist Hindu and its supporters are responsible for public beatings of Indian Christians. Is this what religion expects? In Afghanistan, the Taliban, otherwise known as "Gods students" beat a woman to death in public, for accidentally exposing her arms while driving. Fundamentalists are using religion to limit other people's beliefs. Classic literature is no longer allowed in classrooms. Is this what religion expects? Creationism is being forced into your classrooms. The old fashioned belief that the Bible says that the world was created in seven days period. They would ban Darwin given the chance. But this wasn't enough. Religion is ironically a place where we learn to hate. Listen to the preaching of Randall Terry, "I want you let a wave of intolerance wash over you. Yes, hate is good...our goal is a Christian nation." Jerry Falwell claims that he is positive the anti-Christ will be Jewish, but don't let this make you think he's anti-Semitic. Phyllis Schafel is praised for her political leadership in the land of the free and then goes and says "Let's pass a constitutional amendment that puts prayer back in classrooms. And not just praying to any old "god", but the Christian God." Pat Robertson claims that all the great builders have been Christians, and that everyone else is a "termite" and it is time for a "Godly fumigation". Ladies and Gentlemen, is this what religion expects, or is this just preaching bigotry. You decide. One question is left in my mind. Is this what religion is? I can't accept that a once pure philosophy has turned into this. Religion can give us anything, as long as we see it in the way we were always meant to see. Martian Luther King, Ghandi, religion was the basis of their beliefs. It encourages us to live in unity and brotherhood, so that we may live with each other. It offers us sanctified inner peace, so that we may live with ourselves. So let's revive the religion we once knew, and place our faith in the future.